second time

I can not ..
because I had no intention of going out again ..
I like this better ..
than I have to disappoint people who I love ..
I could live without them,,
but I need a friend to talk like them,,
where the laughter and the sorrow ..
but I do not want to vent their grief with me this past ..
because I think the past was so creepy ..
so scary and I do not want to enter
although a second time ...
and I think this may be limited only friends and nothing more
you understand??
I hope you understand ..